


Status

by Jish (JishFFN)



Category: South Park
Genre: HIV Stigma, HIV/AIDS, Kyle is still HIV+, M/M, Style (South Park)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2019-02-12 19:46:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12967038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JishFFN/pseuds/Jish
Summary: Two years into their relationship, Kyle has something very important to tell Stan before their relationship can go further. It's hard for Kyle to tell, because this is something that could turn even Stan away from him forever. Does it, or does Stan not only accept Kyle but continue to love him? Slash, boy x boy. Complete.





	Status

**Author's Note:**

> See my endnotes for my full commentary on this oneshot.

**Status**

I’ll never get tired of this. I love his lips on mine, I love feeling his hard-on into mine as we make out. It’s so beautiful - so magical. His love is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

When college started, we both got a little drunk one night – our first and only time drinking. We left the party pretty early because we got hungry and headed back to our shared apartment that we rented during our stay at university.

When we got back, though a little drunk, we weren’t impaired. We decided to boil some water to cook some macaroni and cheese – not really a quick cook but short enough we were still able to wait for.  As the water was heating up, we kind of started talking about relationships.

It’s weird – Kyle _hates_ talking about that stuff, but he’s the one that brought it up.

* * *

 

 _“Find a girl yet?” Kyle asks, sighing and just slumping into the couch in the seat next to me. He seems in thought, but when is he not? A genius is_ always _in thought._

_“Not really, Kyle. I’m thinking I wanna take a break from girls. Too much hassle lately. It’s our Freshman year – we have three more years to find girls.” I say, and he chuckles slightly._

_“Three years…for_ girls _…” He mumbles under his breath. Kyle…?_

_“Yeah…girls…anyone.” I say, and him closing his eyes confirms it._

_I’ve kind of always suspected this, that he might be gay. He’s had a few girlfriends before, made out with one or two before at parties, but never seemed truly into it. And I know it doesn’t mean anything exactly, but he’s_ never _complained about them not putting out. But it’s all circumstantial – just because he’s not a horny pig doesn’t mean he isn’t straight._

 _I mean, it_ is _how I found out I wasn’t straight. I consider myself bisexual; sometimes I found myself attracted to girls like nothing else, and other times I liked looking at dicks and hairy chests. It’s all good, though!_

 _“_ Anyone _…? Like…a…” He can’t say it._

_“Anyone, Kyle. A person. A human. Someone who makes you happy and means the world. A girl, a guy. Doesn’t matter.” I say, and Kyle is still._

_“…I’m gay, Stan.” Instead of words, I scoot closer to him and put my arm around his shoulder. He puts his head on my arm and I feel his breath as he exhales onto my skin._

_In my still-drunken state, I pull him closer, his head resting in my neck now. He whined slightly as I moved him, but his breathing steadies in the crook of my neck._

_His breath…so warm. His face and that slight beard, it tickles my neck and cheek in the right way. Oh man…am I really going to do this?_

_I lean my head down and lightly kiss his cheek. Kyle doesn’t speak, he only nuzzles into my neck more, his breathing on my skin more rapid. I kiss his cheek again, a few kisses. In response I fee him kissing my neck now, breathing actually hot now rather than just warm. I kiss down his cheek onto his neck, and he lifts his head and places his lips on mine when I pull back from his neck._

* * *

 

That night, we kept kissing until we smelled the burning water of the food, which brought us back to reality. We put on more water in a new pot, and we had a real discussion. I came out to him as bi as he did to me as gay earlier, and we decided to try out a relationship. We were best friends, but we never thought of each other as a romantic partner, but we decided to give it a try because we were already so close.

…Fast forward two years. We’re both twenty, juniors in college, and currently making out in our shared room. We have since moved into a cheaper apartment with only one bedroom as we decided to move in together for real last year, and after college we will start saving for a house when we go back to live with our parents and get jobs (as we are _still_ next-door neighbors).

This is one of our hotter make-out sessions. Both of us are only in our underwear and we are not wearing shirts. My boner is full force right now, and he laying on top of me, his boner pushing straight into mine as our tongues make love.

I decide to try to go a little further and I turn so Kyle is on his side next to me, not breaking the kiss. I trail my hand down his body, and I start to fondle his dick through the underwear. Kyle moans and his crotch humps my hand a few times…before he pulls away with a desperate whine.

“Stan…” Kyle says, immediately sitting upright criss-cross. This isn’t the first time a make-out session got cut-off when things get too hot. Usually it’s him that actually starts humping into me and grabbing my dick, but it always ends the same way. He just shies away from me.

“Kyle…please talk to me. It’s been two years. I don’t mind waiting, honest, but please give some sort of hint why you don’t want to have sex yet. I love you, I really do.” I say, and he buries his head into his arms.

Fuck, he’s about to cry.

“Kyle, please don’t cry. I’m not mad. I just want to be able to help you. Please.” I say, and he starts crying now. He’s trying to hold back his sobs, but it’s not working. He’s always been a messy cryer and this time is no different.

“Do you really want to know, Stan? Are you sure? You might hate me. You might never want to be with me again.” Kyle says between sobs, and it breaks my heart.

“Kyle, there is _nothing_ that could ever make me feel like that unless you cheated on me, and I know you well enough that you would _never ever_ do that to me because you are a good man. Please tell me, Kyle.” I beg of my boyfriend, and he continues to sob.

“…I’m still HIV-Positive.” Kyle says, sobbing harder than I’ve ever seen.

He…he still has the disease? But…he was cured! Magic Johnson cured him with the money! Did…did he get it again from someone else before me?

This…this doesn’t change anything. He’s still my boyfriend. He’s still Kyle. I still love him.

“I don’t care, Kyle. I love you. We’ll work through this because you’ve done nothing wrong. I can’t hate you for being sick, okay?” I try to reassure him, and I pull him into a hug. He’s trying to keep his head above my shoulder to avoid getting tears, spit, and snot on me (he’s a _messy_ cryer).

“Y-You mean it Stan? You still…want to be with me?”  Kyle asks again, and I kiss his cheek to avoid the mess on his face.

“Yes, Kyle. We’ll make it work. It might be a challenge, but we’ll get through it, okay? I don’t hate you – I still love you.” I say and this seems to calm him down.

A few minutes pass as he calms down, still sobbing and sniffling occasionally as he regains his bearings. We agreed to talk about this whole thing, any questions I may have. When he calms down, he nods and lets me know it’s okay to begin.

“Okay, first thing: weren’t you cured? Didn’t the concentrated money destroy the virus?” I ask him, and he shakes his head.

“N-not exactly. The money did kill all the virus that it found, but it didn’t kill the hidden reservoirs in my body. My doctor explained it to me, but it’s still fuzzy as I’m not an expert just a patient. But what I understand it is that HIV can look cured – no more virus in the blood. But HIV can ‘sleep’ in the body and hide and be unseen even in tests and to medicine – that’s why it’s so hard to find a true cure, even now. All medicine does is lower the amount of virus in the blood – called the ‘viral load’ and the goal is an ‘undetectable’ level, which means that tests can’t really determine the amount of virus at all and it also means that the virus is very, very unlikely to be spread, even without condoms. I currently am undetectable, and I have been for about twelve years since receiving the money injection.” He starts explaining, and I think I understand.

“So the money was just like current medicine?” I ask, and he nods.

“Exactly. Instead of taking daily medicine like other HIV+ patients, I don’t have to. But I still go for blood tests every couple of months to check if my viral load has gone up, or if my CD4 count has gone down. Either of those would be very bad – they would mean that the virus would be adapting to the money and developing resistance, which can happen to normal HIV+ patients due to lack of strict adherence to their drug regimen.” Kyle explains, and something didn’t stick out to me.

“CD4 count?” I ask, and he shrugs.

“It’s just the white blood cell count, we want a good number to fight infections. Below 200 is when AIDS is officially diagnosed. I’ve been at 1300 ever since my diagnosis.”

“So you’re healthy?” I ask, and he nods.

“Very healthy, at least right now. My doctor is worried that because I’m not taking a regimen of medicine but had the one injection that it could start developing resistance, and we are considering having me go on a pill regimen soon so I don’t have to worry about that.” Kyle explains, and I am happy, He’s _healthy_. That’s the most important thing.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me? If you’re healthy and you can’t spread the virus being undetectable, why not tell me?” I ask, and this is when he gets sad.

“Because I was afraid you’d break up with me. Things are getting better, but still so many people don’t understand HIV. Some people, especially gay or bi men, refuse to even consider dating an undetectable HIV+ person and instead date someone who says they are negative but hasn’t been tested recently or had an inconclusive test. Some people don’t want to be friends with an HIV+ person for fear they can get it just by talking or shaking hands.” Kyle says and sighs. He breathes deeply for a few seconds before continuing.

“Most people just aren’t educated, but even those that are still are scared despite what science says. It’s scary Stan. People with it, even those who got it from birth or through assault are seen as underserving of happiness, or even worse that they ‘deserve’ it for being reckless. Nobody deserves this virus. I don’t like the term personally, but HIV Stigma is a real thing, and I just didn’t want to lose you or worse – give it to you. That’s why I never had sex with you, and why I never told you.” Kyle explains to me, and my heart breaks again.

Kyle felt so alone…so scared, over something he had no control over. Cartman _attacked_ him and give him the virus – Kyle wasn’t irresponsible and he certainly didn’t ask for it. It’s not his fault that he has this virus inside him, and he still deserves all the love and kindness and happiness he can get. He would never hurt someone, and he certainly wouldn’t want to give this disease to someone else.

“I understand Kyle. You don’t have to apologize for this, ever. You are a good man, Kyle. I know you would never want to hurt another human being. I will always love you. I will always want to hug you, kiss you, and I will always want to make love with you – you deserve so much love and pleasure. I want to grow old with you, adopt some children and have a family. I want us to have a life together – why should a disease get in the way of that? It’s not going to.” I say, hugging him.

“…Thank you, Stan.” He whispers into my ear, hugging me really tight.

Kyle may still be HIV+, but that doesn’t change anything. Kyle Broflovski is still the kindest, most caring man in the world, and I love him with all my heart. His HIV Status does not change my feelings for him because his disease doesn’t define him.

* * *

 

It’s a few days later after Kyle came out and revealed his HIV status to me. We’e making out again, just like we were before everything happened. Unlike last time, though, he’s getting really into it and I know he wants to take the next the next step. I get up and I go to the drawer next to me, pulling out a wrapper. I hand it to him and he looks a little nervous when he notices that it is a condom.

“Are you sure you want to do this Stan?” He asks me, and my answer reassures him and makes him smile.

“I’m positive.”

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Was this good or bad, I don’t know. But this story was important for me to write. And I’ve decided to write the whole thing in a few hours (so, forgive me if some of it seemed really rushed). Also, I debated titling this story “Positive” but I decided that would be too cliché so I made that the final line.
> 
> Obviously, as South Park canon goes, Kyle was “cured,” but I twisted that and made it still possible to do a real HIV story. To write a story like this was hard for me, because:
> 
> Not just as an adult but as a gay man, HIV is something that has to be, and is, on my mind. Like Kyle described in the story, some people are really afraid of the virus to irrational lengths. I was/still am one of them, but I am slowly learning to overcome that because I don’t want to live in fear and because I don’t want a disease to prevent me from loving and being with someone who could be really amazing. 
> 
> I am not an expert, so some of the info I wrote may be off. If you want more information, check out the CDC’s website and other websites dedicated to educating and ending HIV Stigma. There are things in the story I wanted to mention but didn’t really know how to write them in without making it seem like an HIV brochure which can have all the info much better than I can describe it. These include PReP, PEP, the phrase “Treatment as prevention,” common misconceptions about transmission risks, other routes of transmission, etc. All these can be found on the CDC website and/or other HIV-dedicated websites as described above.
> 
> An important thing I neglected to mention in the story though was depression in HIV+ patients. This is a huge problem and one of the things that sparked me trying to get over my fear. Try to imagine yourself in their shoes and you start to understand.
> 
> Yes, it is still a very serious illness, but not nearly as much as it was. If someone adheres to their treatment regimen to remain undetectable, transmission is already almost impossible, and condoms make the risk even lower. HIV is something to be aware of and cautious of, but not a thing that needs to be feared anymore. It is no longer a death sentence. If there’s love and responsibility, everything will be fine. :) 
> 
> Thank you for reading this story. This was more therapeutic for me than an attempt to entertain readers, but I hope I made it entertaining enough. 
> 
> And, as always, don’t forget to review!
> 
> Also, I have a FFN account under the same name if you want to follow me there too. I will not be posting all stories there to here.


End file.
